This morning I wrote in my blog about a time when I was "on fire." I wrote about the now infamous dog bit incident and realized that I still have a lot of unresolved anger about that. I still have unresolved anger about the snub on Christmas. I don't know if my relationship is any better with Sabrina now than it was months ago. She did loan me her car while my car was being repaired for 3 weeks which was very generous of her. But I feel such a distance from her and I don't want it to be this way, She's not keen on seeing John because he got off track the last time. Now I need to talk to John and tell him she's pissed off about the last time we were there. She's so pissed off that she doesn't want to go back. I feel like our relationship is slipping away. She thinks I'll be around forever but time is slipping by to fix our relationship. I have prayed so much about this that I am just about all prayed out. I don't know what to do. I know I have to talk to John about her anger at him. Is she angry at me too? I don't know because we just text but it seems from her texts that she's angry about something. I want so badly to have a good relationship with my daughter. I try not to push my religion on her, but she can't help but see me within my religion by mt dress. All I know is that she is very angry about something and I am clueless. I think she feels that we have not made much progress with John. Maybe we need a different therapist for our joint sessions. I don't know. I just know I want to have a good relationship with her and I don't right now and it breaks my heart. Allah, help me.
Monday, March 28, 2011
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