Getting More Involved in islamic Life

I have been abiding by Sabrina's request not to wear my hijab around her and the girls, nor do I talk about Islam around them. I have been taking the girls to church every week and we usually have lunch afterward.

On Easter Sunday, the church sponsored an Easter Egg Hunt for the people in the neighborhood surrounding Huebner Elementary School where the church worship services are held. The girls helped to place the candy-filled eggs on the playing-field. Then we went back to their house, and all of us went to a restaurant for Easter brunch. There was a little tension because Sabrina really didn't want to go because she had been sick all night and was not feeling well and was tired. At the church event, Cassie had called her about something, and in her anger, Sabrina told her that she didn't want to see Cassie for the rest of the day. Cassie was upset then, and told me that she felt like her mother didn't want her around. I tried to console her; she and Jackie also had some problems and I tried to smooth those over.

Eventually we went to eat brunch, and it was a little tense. Clint tends to criticize the girls for even little things, and the girls resent it. When we returned to their house, I told Cassie that she should talk to her therapist about how she feels at her next appointment, and in the meantime, she should write down her feelings in her journal. She said she would. Both girls gave me big hugs when I left. It's difficult to leave them when I know they are upset.

While we were at church, I got a message from Narjis to call her. She and some sisters get together for lunch on Sundays around 1 p.m. and wanted to know if I would like to join them. I explained that I was going to brunch with my family after church that day, but I'd love to join them another Sunday. She had been meaning to call me earlier, she said, because it would be good for me to meet new people. I will have to work out something with taking the girls out to eat if I go with Narjis and these women, however, because they like to go out to eat with me and look forward to that. So maybe we can go to dinner on Sunday night.

I went onto YouTube this past week and found some videos on saying Salaat. One in particular was very good, because it went through the prayers slowly and phonetically. The prayers were a bit different from the ones in the brochure Lyana sent me. So I've been saying the ones from YouTube because they are more like the ones we say at the Islamic Center.

I have been attending Friday prayers (juma'a) every week at the Islamic Center. I get a lot out of the iman's sermons and I feel peaceful during prayers. This past Friday the prayers were crowded because schools were closed for Good Friday, so there were many children there.

Narjis invited me to join the Yahoo group Tri-Faith Dialog, a group that brings together Christians, Jews, and Muslims. I know she is very involved in these activities, and this is very dear to my heart--that we would all get along since we worship the same God. Narjis also invited me to attend a dhikr, A Circle of Remembrance, on Thursday night. She said this is the mystical (Sufi) side of Islam, so I am very interested in it. She said usually 5-6 women attend, and they meet at different homes (I'd better clean!). I am very grateful that she is "mentoring" me.

Tonight I am going to try to attend the Islam 101 class at the Islamic Center. I have been bothered by allergies, but I really want to start going to this class and learning more about Islam. I also would like to start attending the women's Qur'an class on Saturday late afternoon.

I have been reading the Holy Qur'an and Hadiths. I try to read a little every day. I feel very peaceful when I read, and I know God is speaking through them.

Today in an email, Connie asked me about my name change (FaTima), so I told her of my conversion. I told her I hope she would still be my friend--we have been friends for so long. She wrote back that of course she was still my friend, but she would try to stir me back to Christianity. That's okay. I just glad she's my friend.

So I am settling into being a Muslima. Laiba was concerned about me attending Shi'ite services and learning the "wrong" things. She is Sunni, and I am more comfortable at the Sunni Islamic Center than at the Shi'ite masjid. Something just tells me that the Islamic Center is where I should be, so that is where I am going.