Feeling Persecuted

I haven't written in a while. And I also have not been to the masjid in a while--any masjid. Why? Well, it seems that every Friday I have had some sort of malady. For example, today I woke up and felt like I was not even human. I could barely figure out where or who I was. This has been going on for a couple of days, and I have no idea why. I was in a total fog and even felt faint and weak. I had to say my extra prayers sitting down this morning! 

(I haven't felt well in several days. If it continues through the weekend, I'll call the doctor on Monday.)

It's been frustrating, because I really wanted to go to Islam 101 on Wednesday, and to Juma' today and to the evening program at the masjid on Gardendale tonight. I've been trying to get to Qur'an study on Saturday afternoon for weeks. Haven't made it yet. Something always gets in the way--either I feel awful or someone calls or something else happens. Sooo frustrating!

So between feeling awful for such a long time, my daughter claims that she doesn't want to call me because she doesn't want to hear me talking about "Muslim." I have made such a conscious effort to NOT mention my religion when I talk to her, and I told her so. This was in the course of a text war that involved finding out that her husband told her that I ignore him when I come to the house. That is exactly the opposite of what happens, and I even asked the girls if they knew why he didn't speak to me. They chalked it up to his involvement in his video games. 

The "war" started because I was shocked that she had decided to sell her house because they are "cramped." And I said her life was chaotic and unstable. Which is true, when you counted that one weekend her husband refused to speak to her all weekend because of her choice of restaurant, the next week he announced on a Saturday morning that he was leaving her, and the next week they want to buy a bigger house! I call that chaotic and unstable. Of course, she was insulted and then proceeded to bring up all the "crimes" I have committed against her, among which is "constantly talking about Muslim stuff," and the time I asked if I could take the girls to the masjid (WHAT was I thinking?!)

But I pray for her every day and for mending our relationship. InshAllah. And I pray for her relationship with her husband and the sale of their house, but I leave the outcome to Allah, since I have no idea what I should pray for, and Allah knows best. I even pray for healing for Clint's back, even though he seems to do everything possible to re-injure it.

Well, enough of my kvetching. (Funny, using Yiddish on an Islamic blog!) But I do feel persecuted by my daughter sometime, and certainly by Shaytan. I WANT TO FEEL WELL AGAIN!!!!